Sigh.... I'm not entirely sure how I feel right now honestly... Things don't always sink in immediately..... I felt hollow and empty at first... Like I just couldn't really believe what had happened, even though the event itself wasn't really a shock...
I was actually taking a nap in the middle of the day, which is kinda normal for me. I heard strange voices, which I first tried to put off as nothing more than the TV. But it almost sounded like the voices were moving between rooms, which is odd, since the TV doesn't normally walk around the house. Then I heard my mom's voice. It was clear as a bell to me, despite her voice being rather quiet compared to everyone else. Okay, things were getting weird. Mom may have a silly sense of humor, but she doesn't talk to the TV. Maybe we had guests? Bah, of course not. No one ever visits us. But then my door opened. My mom wouldn't open my door for no reason. What was going on?
That was when she told me. She had found my dad in his room and had to call 911. I stayed in my room the whole time. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. She didn't give me the exact details, but she didn't have to. I knew what she meant. We knew this was coming. My dad was gone. This was no surprise, although the timing kind of threw us off. He had always had health problems, but we thought he had a little more time.
It didn't start sinking in until the family came to visit. No one ever comes to the house, and we only see the family once a year. So if they were coming, then there had to be a reason why. Seeing them, hugging them, receiving their condolences, it was comforting but also a little upsetting at the same time. It was nice seeing them, despite the circumstances. But it also made it impossible to ignore or avoid what had happened. Still, I know they'll be there to help my mom and I through this.
He passed away just last Wednesday, but it's still kinda hard to tell how much has really sunk in. I miss him of course, but at the same time, there is also relief. I know he's in a better place now, without any pain or problems. It's a bit of a comfort, knowing how much he had to go through. I'm glad he doesn't have to worry about anything anymore. He can rest peacefully now.
My mom and I have been sticking close together recently, closer than usual. We normally spend a fair amount of time together, but it seems that time has increased as we try to help each other figure things out. My dad was usually the one on top of everything, but now we have to work together to take care of everything. We should be fine, though, since my dad made sure that we would be in case something were to happen. I just wish I had a little more time to spend with him. I couldn't have asked for a better dad.